I fed myself a steady diet of romance movies and novels when I was growing up. I even read all those so called "Christian romance" novels. This was the sum of my knowledge about marriage and romance. Suffice it to say I was an idiot when I got married. I totally bought that you would know that you'd found the "right one" when everything clicked and you heard or at least felt the background violins. So, when Colin and I had difficulties or conflict, I not only felt the defeat of that argument in that moment, I also felt the defeat of Hollywood telling me that I'd married the wrong one. I was sure I'd made a mistake until we made up and I felt "in love" again, and then I thought maybe it wasn't a mistake. Until the next argument came along. I bet y'all are so jealous of Colin finding such a catch as me,eh?! Anyway, it's been a long time coming, but I'm starting to learn to look at marriage with a biblical perspective and not a Top Gun, Princess Bride, Sixteen Candles one. Uh-oh I think I've dated myself with those pop culture references from the eighties.
So, now that I'm so old and a little wise, I realize that marriage is supposed to be a reflection of Christ and His church's relationship. There will be many opportunities for the husband to learn to love someone despite their total lack of loveability, and there will be plenty of opportunities for wives to learn to honor and respect their husbands despite being absolutely sure that they're wrong. Only in this give and take and bowing the will of oneself for the other can we truly find happiness and joy. Through being considerate, patient, forgiving, we will truly know the indescribably close bond of being husband and wife. Only then will we know the depths and beauty of being truly "in love." Marriage is for happiness, but it's not through the path that Cameron Diaz or Bradd Pitt will lead you. It's through a lot of sanctification and selflessness. And it is truly a beautiful thing.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Posted by Duchess of Fife at 2:35 PM