Monday, June 19, 2006

Joy

One of the things I struggle with in life is finding joy in the everyday. God is showing me in many humbling ways that while I may say that the biblical way of living is the only path to true happiness, it is rare that I show that in the way I act. Particularly in regards to children. Sure I may say that God is true and that children are in fact blessings rather than curses, but so many times, my countenance, words, and attitude reflect a heart that doesn't really believe it. Here is an excerpt from an interesting article

In our society parents do a wonderful job of portraying the difficulties of
having children: the financial burdens, the time drain, the guilt, the
exhaustion. But we do a lousy job of getting across something else about
parenthood: It's fun! When you are experiencing parenthood from the inside,
there is an overwhelming pleasure in the funny, fascinating things your
children
do. When my daughter was 2, she put her arms around me as I was
kissing her
goodnight and said to me, "Mommy, you're a wonderful husband."
That was better
than any of the movies I hadn't been to since she was born.


I don't know much about the author, but she, who has only one child, is showing that she has found joy in the blessings of children. Whereas I, who am expecting my fifth reward from God, hardly ever do. I realize that I can easily excuse away these sins in the world's eyes. After all, who wouldn't blame someone who's in pain or exhausted with pregnancy for being grumpy with their kids. But the truth is that this is a heart issue and it involves my willingness to believe, trust, and honor God in all circumstances. It is always one thing to say it in your head, it's another thing to believe it in your heart and practice it throughout your day. When I walk around the grocery store annoyed, when I sigh at having to clean up the spilled milk under the table, when I'd rather let the kids watch a video than interact with them, I'm showing that I don't really believe God.

I feel terrible when I realize this because not only does it mean I'm dishonoring God, but I'm also presenting a lie to the world. They see me saying that we believe children are a blessing but acting like they're not, and what do you think they'll believe? What an awful witness for the Lord I am. I really need to practice what I preach in the everyday, the nitty gritty, the mundane. Then and only then, will my life start reflecting God's truth instead of my sin and lies. May God forgive me and grant me the wisdom and the ability to find joy in the everday. And may you all find it too :)

4 comments:

Laura said...

I thank God for your honesty, Emily, and praise him for the work that he is obviously doing in you by giving you these insights and the desire to change! May he make your children blessings to you and Colin and the Church and the world, far above all that you could ask or think...

Lee Ann said...

Emily, thanks for sharing this. I was just recently talking about how helpful it is to talk about things in terms of sin (heart issues) rather than emotions. I think it helps us to see that repentance and the Gospel is what we need, rather than continuing to feel sorry for ourselves, etc. Thanks for this post. I appreciate you sharing your sin, especially in an area that is so important to you.

Amy Howard said...

Excellent post, Emilie! I feel this way too about not presenting the truth sometimes about what I believe about our children. My focus more lately has been in trying to treat them as the blessings they are. Sometimes I just forget to do this in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I think the key is to slow down. And pray... a lot!

Amy

MrsSWM said...

Amen :-)

Jennifer
www.old-paths.com