Friday, October 21, 2005

As a mother...

I struggle with understanding God's word sometimes. It's not that I doubt its truthfulness, it's just that my small brain cannot wrap itself around the truths. For example:

Isaiah 49:14-16
14 But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me,
the Lord has forgotten me."
15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!
16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me.

I cannot imagine God engraving me on the palms of His holy hands. Yes, I find an incredible amount of joy in my own children, but as a sinner, I know I do not always love them as much as I should. Plus, I know what I'm like. I find myself annoying and difficult to live with at times, how could God not grow impatient?

I can see God's work in opening my eyes to this truth through my experiences as a mother. I know how my heart leaps with joy and excitement when they laugh and smile with me. I know how I thrill at all their cute expressions and words. I know how my heart broke when I had to rush a child to the emergency room, and even now how the memory of seeing them hurt will cause me to physically cringe. I love them so much, I would literally do anything for them. I would easily lay down my life. But, there's one thing I would never do- cause them to suffer for the sake of an enemy. And yet, this is what He did for me. How can someone love a stranger like that?

I keep trying to transpose my sin nature onto God's, but thankfully His nature is teflon. My feeble attempts to make Him something He's not will never prevail. One day, I will truly know how good, how perfect, how breathtaking His love for me is. For now, I can keep trying to remind myself of the words He gave that show me, and of the sacrifice He gave to punish His son for my sake. I will stand in admiration now, I will fall down prostrate in utter reverence and wondermemt when I am before Him forever. I can't wait to know.

Zephaniah 3:16-18 (New King James Version)
New King James Version (NKJV)
16 In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem:
“ Do not fear;
Zion, let not your hands be weak.
17 The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”